I leave for Bombay on the evening train. I feel very sad and empty inside. I occupy the window seat and sit with closed eyes. When the train starts I look outside the window and see the vast fields with a range of mountains all around. I have traveled with Osho on this train and am remembering how everything was joyous and celebrating at that time. Today it is totally different. I feel as if sadness has descended on everything, I remember Osho saying, “When you are sad, enjoy your sadness too.” It sounds easy, but practically impossible. I am suffering in sadness. I look inside and feel drowned in the ocean of sadness.
I don’t know when sleep overtook me but when I wake up and look at my watch, I am surprised to note that I have slept for two hours, and something miraculous has happened in my sleep. I feel very fresh and full of energy again. All the sadness has disappeared. Instead I feel very silent and joyous. Some kind of clarity has happened. I realize I am an individual on my own and I have to play my part in this big drama with my own understanding. It is time now to share with friends whatever I have learnt from Osho. He has given me so much I need to digest it, I remember Osho saying, “A small plant can’t grow under the shadow of a big tree.”
I feel grateful and thank Osho for sending me away from Him.
