Why do you tell so many Jokes about the Jews?

Beloved Master, Why do you tell so many Jokes about the Jews?

Question: Beloved Master, Why do you tell so many Jokes about the Jews?

Osho: Sanatano, Jews have a sense of humor as nobody else has. For example, Hindus have no jokes, not a single joke which can be called Hindu. All the jokes that Indians tell to each other come from the West. India has lost the sense of humor; it has become too serious.


Jews could not become too serious for the simple reason that for centuries their lives have been of great suffering. It is humor that helped them to survive. They had to create a great sense of humor. India has lived in a lukewarm way. It has not suffered much, nobody has tortured it much, nobody was bent upon destroying it. It never needed a sense of humor to save itself from seriousness; on the contrary, because life has been simple, without much suffering and pain, people have become serious.


Jews have the best jokes in the world. You will be surprised, but this is my observation: it is their sense of humor that has saved them; otherwise they would have been destroyed long ago. They had to create a great sense of humor; even in the concentration camps of Adolf Hitler they were joking. That was their way of remaining alive.

And I love jokes, hence I love Jews too.


Two Jews met each other for the first time.

“Where are you from?” asked one.

“Miami Beach, Florida,” answered the other. “Where are you from?”

“Lincoln, Nebraska,” answered the first. “What’s the population of Miami Beach?”

“Oh, about a hundred thousand people.”

“And how many Jews are there?”

“About ninety thousand.”

“And what do they do for a living?”

“Oh, they are doctors, lawyers, judges, accountants, retired wealthy men, bankers, etcetera.”

“And tell me about the other ten thousand people? What do they do?”

“They are policemen, carpenters, laborers, etcetera. So now you tell me about Lincoln, Nebraska. What’s the population there?”

“About three hundred thousand people.”

“And how many of them are our people?”

“I guess there are about five thousand Jews.”

“Wow!” said the other, “How come you need so many servants?”


Jews are intelligent people, they snatch away more Nobel Prizes than anybody else. That intelligence is also there because they have suffered long, and they always have to find new ways to survive. Intelligence arises when it is challenged; intelligence arises, becomes sharpened, when it is used. If it is not used it gathers dust. When it is not used, when there is no need to use it, it dies. It is as if you don’t use your legs for years — you will lose them, you will not be able to walk again. It is as if you keep your eyes closed for three years, you will lose your eyesight.


Thieves have better eyesight than anybody else; naturally, because they have to look in the dark into other people’s houses. Maybe they have entered into the house for the first time: they don’t know where the door is and where the wall is and how the furniture is arranged — still they have to walk silently. They start getting better eyesight than anybody. You will not find a thief with glasses; at least I have not found one yet.


So whenever you see a person without glasses, beware! Who knows? Keep watch. A man with eyeglasses, you need not worry about him. He cannot even find his own things; how can he find your things? — impossible. He cannot find things in his own house.


Jews have really lived a long long, arduous life because of the Christians. The whole idea is absurd, because once Jesus was crucified, the Jews did not need to be tortured for ever and ever. And the Jews you are torturing did not crucify Jesus; those people are gone. But that’s how foolish prejudices continue, and Christians particularly go on and on repeating the same thing.


The sin that was committed by Adam and Eve is still heavy on them. Now if Adam and Eve committed it, they will suffer for it. Why are you worried? You have not committed it. But they think it is in your blood; it has come to you because you are in the same chain, in the same continuity. This is absurd, utterly absurd.


Buddha had a son, Mahavira had a daughter; the daughter must have given birth to a few children — where are they? Mahavira is not carried by his descendants. Where are Zarathustra’s sons or daughters? Zarathustra is not carried by his sons and daughters. Everyone lives his own life and dies his own death. Everyone is unique.


Remember, the body comes from the parents but not the soul. And it is so with Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve are not carried by blood cells. It is utterly stupid to torture Jews for something that happened two thousand years ago. But it continues. In a way it has been a blessing in disguise: it is a curse but it has given Jews a sharpness, a brilliance, an intelligence, a sense of humor. They can laugh even when they are facing death.


I have heard that in the concentration camps they survived not on food, because the food was not enough — they survived on jokes. Even going into the oven, into the gas chamber, they were going telling jokes to each other, laughing. A beautiful people!

Christians don’t joke about their bishops, popes; Hindus never joke against their mahatmas, impossible. Jews joke even about their rabbis; they joke more about rabbis than about anybody else. That shows intimacy, that shows love and respect, remember. That shows that the rabbi is not something of an outsider, he is an insider.


There was a function in a Jewish community. They were raising money for the synagogue — the synagogue was in bad condition — so they had sold tickets for a lottery. And now the day had come when the first three prizes were going to be distributed.


A man was called and it was declared that he had got the third prize — a Lincoln Continental. The beautiful car was there on the stage. That was the third prize.

Then the man was called who had got the second prize — he was given just a big cake. He was hoping that he might be given an airplane or something. The third prize was a Lincoln Continental and the second prize was a cake! He said to the man who was distributing the prizes, “Are you mad?”

But the man said, “You don’t understand. The cake was prepared by the rabbi’s wife herself.”

The man was so angry he said, “Fuck the rabbi’s wife!”

And the man said, “But that is the first prize.”


Only Jews can joke this way; that shows intimacy, that shows respect, love. The rabbi is part of the community.


Three men were hurt in an airplane crash in Africa and were recuperating in a Moroccan hospital. In Morocco they allow the shepherds to bring their flocks into town to graze — which helps to keep the grass short.

Confined to their hospital rooms for several months, one day, one of the three, a Christian, looked out of the window. There was a flock of sheep enjoying lunch.

The Christian pointed to a plump ewe and exclaimed, “I wish that one was Elizabeth Taylor!”

The second, who was a Mohammedan, said, “I wish that was Raquel Welch!”

And the third, who was a Jew, said, “I just wish it was dark.”


Source – Osho Book “The Dhammapada, Vol5”