I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THE NEED FOR LITTLE REWARDS AT THE END OF THE DAY — A FEW BEERS, CIGARETTES OR DRUGS. NOW NONE OF THESE THINGS BRING ANY SATISFACTION, YET THE DESIRE FOR SOMETHING, SOME FORM OF GRATIFICATION, CONTINUES. WHAT IS THIS LONGING AND WHAT WILL SATISFY IT?
Nothing will satisfy it. There is a subtle mechanism of desire to be understood. Desire functions in this way, desire places a condition on your happiness. "I will be happy if I can get this car, this woman, this house."
Fulfillment of the desire removes that condition on your happiness. In your relief you feel good. Actually all you have done is remove a quite unnecessary obstruction to your happiness, but it is not long before you find yourself thinking, "If I can create that obstruction again, then remove it all over again, the relief I felt in removing it the last time will feel as good as it did then." And so it is that desires, even when we fulfill them, lead again and again to the creation of new desires.
Do you follow it? First you make a condition. You say, "Unless I get this woman I am not going to be happy. I can be happy only with this woman." Now you start striving to get this woman. The more difficult it is the more you become enthusiastic, feverish.
The more difficult it is the more you are challenged. The more difficult it is the more you put all your being at stake; you are ready to gamble. And of course more hope arises and more desire to possess the woman. It is so hard, it is so difficult. It must be something great, that's why it is so hard, that's why it is so difficult. You chase and chase and chase and one day you get the woman.
The day you get the woman the condition is removed: "If I get the woman then I will be happy." You had put that condition in the first place. Now you get the woman, you feel relief. Now there is no more chasing, you have arrived, the result is in your hands, you feel good — good because of the relief.
One day I saw Mulla Nasruddin walking, swearing and in great pain. I asked him, "What is the matter? Is your stomach aching or do you have a headache or something? What is the matter? You look in such agony."
He said, "Nothing. The shoes that I am wearing are too small."
"But then why are you wearing them?"
He said, "This is the only relief that I get at the end of the day — when I take my shoes off. God, it is such… then I enjoy. But this is the only joy I have, so I cannot drop these shoes. They are one size too small. It is really hell, but in the evening it gives heaven. When I go home and I take my shoes off and I fall on my sofa, I say I have arrived. It's so beautiful!"
That's what you are doing. You create pain, you create anguish, chasing, fever, and then one day you come home and take the shoes off and you say, "Great, this is great. So I have arrived!" But how long can it last? The relief lasts only a few moments. Then again you are hankering.
Now this woman is useless because you have got her. You cannot make a condition again. You can never say again, "If I get this woman I will be happy," because she is already with you. Now you start looking around at somebody else's woman, "If I get that woman…"
Now you know one trick — that first you have to put a condition on your happiness, then you have to follow the condition desperately, then one day relief comes. Now this is futile. A man of understanding will see that there is no need to put any condition, you can be unconditionally happy. Why go on walking in small shoes and suffer just to get relief in the end? Why not have the relief all the time? But then you will not feel it, that is the problem. To feel it you need contrast. You will be happy but you will not feel it.
And that is the definition of a really happy man: a really happy man is one who does not know anything about happiness, who has never heard about it, who is so happy, so unconditionally happy, that how can he know that he is happy? Only unhappy people say, "I am happy, things are going great." These are unhappy people.
A happy person knows nothing about happiness. It is simply there, it is always there. It is like breathing.
You don't feel very happy about breathing — then just do one thing, close your nose. Do some yoga exercises and repress your breath inside and go on repressing and go on repressing. Now the agony arises. And you go on repressing. Be a real yoga disciple — go on repressing. And then it bursts forth and there is such great joy. This is foolish — but this is what everybody is doing. That's why you wait for the result in the evening.
Happiness is herenow, it needs no condition. Happiness is natural. Just see the point of it. Don't make conditions on your happiness. Remain happy for no reason at all. There is no reason to find some cause to be happy. Just be happy.
Trees are happy and they will not get any beer in the evening and any cigarettes, and they are perfectly happy. Look! … And the wind blowing is happy, and the sun is happy, and the sands are happy and the seas are happy, and everything is happy except man — because nobody is making any conditions. Just be happy.
If you cannot be happy, then don't make such impossible conditions — that it is difficult. Then Mulla is right — such a small thing. I understand. He is far more intelligent than you understand him to be. Such a simple device — wearing one size smaller shoes — such a small device, nobody can prevent you from it, and by the evening time you are happy. Just small devices, create small devices, and be as happy as you want.
But you say, "I will be happy only when this great house is mine." Now you are making a big condition. It may take years, and you will be tired and exhausted, and by the time you reach to the palace of your desires you may be close to death. That's what happens. And you wasted your whole life and your great house will become your grave. You say, "Unless I have a million dollars, I am not going to be happy." And then you have to work and waste your whole life. Mulla Nasruddin is far more intelligent: make small conditions and have as much happiness as you want.
If you understand then there is no need to put any conditions. Just see the point of it — that conditions don't create happiness, they only give relief. But the relief cannot be permanent, no relief can ever be permanent. It lasts only for a few moments. Have you not watched it again and again? You wanted to purchase a car; the car is in your porch and you are standing there, very very happy. How long does it last? Tomorrow it is this old car, one day old. Two days after it is two days old, and all the neighborhood has seen it and they all have appreciated it, and finished! Now nobody talks about it. That's why car companies have to go on putting out new models every year, so that you can have new conditions.
People go on hankering after things just to get relief, and relief is available.
Have you heard the story? A beggar was sitting under a tree and a rich man's car broke. The driver was fixing it and the rich man came out and the beggar was having a good rest under the tree. It was breezy and sunny and beautiful, and the rich man also came and he sat by the side of the beggar and he said, "Why don't you work?"
The beggar asked, "For what?"
And the rich man said, "If you work, you can earn money."
The beggar asked, "For what?"
The rich man felt a little annoyed and he said, "When you have money you can have a big balance in the bank."
But the beggar again asked, "For what?"
The rich man was even more annoyed. He said, "For what? Then you can retire in your old age and rest."
"But," the beggar said, "I am resting now! Why wait for old age? And do all this nonsense? — earn money and make a bank balance and then finally rest. And can't you see? — I am resting now! Why wait?"
Why wait for the evening? And why wait for the beer? Why not drink water and enjoy it while you are drinking it?,
You have heard Jesus' story that he turned water into wine? Christians have missed it. They think he really turned it into wine. That is not true. He must have taught the secret that I am teaching you to his disciples. He must have told them, "Drink it so joyously that water becomes wine."
You can drink water so joyously that it almost intoxicates you. Try! Just water can intoxicate you. It depends on you. It does not depend on the beer or the wine. And if you don't understand it, ask some hypnotist, ask our Santosh. He knows. Even if water is given to somebody who has been hypnotized and told under hypnosis that this is wine, he will become intoxicated — with water.
Now doctors know about placeboes, and sometimes the results are very puzzling. In one hospital they were doing some experiments. To one group of twenty patients with the same disease medicine was given and to the other twenty with the same disease just water was given — just to see whether water can work. Neither the doctors nor the patients know which is water and which is medicine, because if the doctor knows then even his behavior will change. Giving water he will not give it that seriously and that will make some suspicion arise in the patient. So neither the doctor nor the patient — nobody knows. The knowledge is kept in a vault, locked.
And the miracle is that the same number of patients are helped by water as are helped by medicine. Out of twenty, seventeen persons are healthy by the second week, from both the groups. And the more miraculous thing is, those who were kept on water remained healthy longer than those who were kept on medicine. The people who were kept on real medicine started coming back soon, after a few weeks.
What happened? Why did water help so much? The idea that it is medicine helps, not the medicine. And because water is pure water, it cannot harm. Medicine will harm. That's why the people who had been given real medicine started coming back. They started creating some new desire, some new disease, some new problems… because no medicine can go without affecting your system in some way or other. It will have its reactions. Water cannot have any reaction. This is pure hypnosis.
You can drink water with such zest, with such prayer, that it becomes wine. You see the Zen people drinking tea with such ceremony and ritual, with such awareness. Then even tea becomes something phenomenal. Ordinary tea is transformed. Ordinary acts can be transformed — a morning walk can be intoxicating. And if a morning walk cannot be intoxicating then something is wrong with you. Just watching a roseflower can be intoxicating. And if it cannot intoxicate you, then nothing can intoxicate you. Just looking in the eyes of a child can be intoxicating.
Learn how to live the moment joyously. Don't look for results, there are none. Life is not going anywhere, it has no ends. Life is not a means to any end, life is just herenow. Live it. Live it totally, live it consciously, live it joyously — and you will be fulfilled.
Fulfillment should not be postponed, otherwise you will never be fulfilled. Fulfillment has to be now — now or never.
OSHO