1. What was the argument between you and your father-in-law, Nasrudin? asked a friend. I didn’t mind, when he wore my hat, coat, shoes and suit, BUT WHEN HE SAT DOWN AT THE DINNER TABLE AND LAUGHED AT ME WITH MY OWN TEETH – THAT WAS TOO MUCH, said Mulla Nasrudin.
2. Mulla Nasrudin’s wife was forever trying to curb his habit of swearing. One day, while shaving, the Mulla nicked his chin, and promptly launched into his most colourful array of cuss words. His wife thereupon repeated it all after him, hoping that her action in doing so would shame him into reforming at last. But instead, the Mulla waited for her to finish them with a familiar twinkle in his eyes said: YOU HAVE THE WORDS ALL RIGHT, MY DEAR, BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THE TUNE.
3. A young bachelor, frequenting the pub quite often, was in the habit of singing laurels of his bachelorhood to all within hearing distance.
He was quite cured of his self-centered, eccentric ideals, when once, Mulla Nasrudin got up calmly from the table, gave the hero a paternal thump on the back and remarked, I SUPPOSE, YOUNG CHAP, YOUR FATHER MUST HAVE BEEN A BACHELOR TOO.
4. The minister was congratulating Mulla Nasrudin on his 40th wedding anniversary. It requires a lot of patience, tolerance, and understanding to live with the same woman for 40 years, he said. THANK YOU, said Nasrudin, BUT SHE’S NOT THE SAMEWOMAN SHEWAS WHENWE WERE FIRST MARRIED.
5. The audience was questioning Mulla Nasrudin who had just spoken on big game hunting in Africa. Is it true, asked one, that wild beasts in the jungle won’t harm you if you carry a torch?
THAT ALL DEPENDS, said Nasrudin ON HOW FAST YOU CARRY IT.
6. Have I not shaved you before, Sir? the barber asked Mulla Nasrudin.
NO, said Nasrudin, I GOT THAT SCAR DURING THE WAR.
7. Mulla Nasrudin who was reeling drunk was getting into his automobile when a policeman came up and asked
You’re not going to drive that car, are you?
CERTAINLY I AM GOING TO DRIVE, said Nasrudin. ANYBODY CAN SEE I AM IN NO
CONDITION TO WALK.
8. Mulla Nasrudin and his wife on a safari cornered a lion. But the lion fooled them; instead of standing his ground and fighting, the lion took to his heels and escaped into the underbush.
Mulla Nasrudin terrified very much, was finally asked to stammer out to his wife, YOU GO AHEAD AND SEE WHERE THE LION HAS GONE, AND I WILL TRACE BACK AND SEE WHERE HE CAME FROM.
9. Mulla, did your father leave much money when he died?
NO, said Mulla Nasrudin, NOT A CENT. IT WAS THIS WAY. HE LO ST HIS HEALTH GETTING WEALTHY, THEN HE LOST HIS WEALTH TRYING TO GET HEALTHY.
10. Mulla Nasrudin, a mental patient, was chatting with the new superintendent at the state hospital. We like you a lot better than we did the last doctor, he said.
The new superintendent was obviously pleased. And would you mind telling me why? he asked.
OH, SOMEHOW YOU JUST SEEM SO MUCH MORE LIKE ONE OF US, said Nasrudin.
11. Mulla Nasrudin used to say:
It is easy to understand the truth of the recent report that says that the children of today cry more and behave worse than the children of a generation ago.
Because those were not children – they were us.
12. What’s the best way to teach a girl to swim? a friend asked Mulla Nasrudin.
First you put your left arm around her waist, said the Mulla. Then you gently take her left hand and…
She’s my sister, interrupted the friend.
Oh, then push her off the dock, said Nasrudin.
13. Mulla Nasrudin said to his girlfriend. What do you say we do something different tonight, for a change?
O.K., she said. What do you suggest?
You try to kiss me, said Nasrudin, and I will slap your face!
14. What do you want with your old letters? the girl asked her ex-boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin. I have given you back your ring. Do you think I am going to use your letters to sue you or something?
Oh, No, said Nasrudin, it’s not that. I paid a fellow twenty-five dollars to write Them for me and I may want to use them over again.
15. What made you quarrel with Mulla Nasrudin?
Well, he proposed to me again last night.
Where was the harm in it?
My dear, i had accepted him the night before.
