OSHO, I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS, I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT; I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE; I DON'T WANT TO LIVE, I DON'T WANT TO DIE; I DON'T WANT TO CRY, I DON'T WANT TO LAUGH; I CAN'T BE PASSIVE, I CAN'T BE ACTIVE; I CAN'T WILL AND I CAN'T SURRENDER.
SO…. then just be in between.
And this is not a question of one person, this is the state of all minds. The mind cannot be this and cannot be that. The mind does not want to be defined, does not want to be static, does not want to be confined; so whenever you want to try to be this, the mind starts working to be that. It goes on moving in the polarities. Mind is a movement; it is a constant movement.
So what can be done? — don't try to be this or that; just be in between. If you can be in between, you transcend mind. Just watch, be a witness. Don't to to do anything; just observe mind going from A to B, from B to A again; mind moving from one side to the other like a pendulum of an old clock: from left to right, from right to left.
Have you watched a pendulum? When it is going to the left, it is gathering momentum to go to the right. On the surface it is going to the left; deep inside, it is gathering momentum to go to the opposite pole. When it is going to the right it is being prepared to go to the left.
When you love a person through the mind, you are already getting ready to hate him. There is a poem by D. H. Lawrence in which he says,'The moment I say to my beloved'I love you', I have already started hating her. The moment I say to my beloved'I will be forever and forever with you', I have already departed.' The divorce is on the way. In the very moment you are getting married, divorce is on the way.
This is the way of the mind, how the mind functions. Just try to understand the functioning of the mind, otherwise you will always be in chaos, confusion, in a sort of insanity.
Become a watcher. Get out of the traffic of the mind, stand by the side of the road and just see. And when I say just see, I mean don't evaluate, don't judge. Don't say,'This is good, that is wrong.' Once you say,'This is good,' you are no more a witness: you have jumped into the river; you are already identified, you are already in trouble. Just stand by the side of the road, or, sit on the bank of a river and let the river flow wherever it goes.
You are not concerned; it is none of your business. Unconcerned, indifferent, just watching, you will suddenly be in between: neither this nor that. That in between point is the point of transcendence. Suddenly, the mind disappears with all its traffic. You are left alone, alone in tremendous purity, alone in absolute innocence, alone with no movement — silent, eternal — not going anywhere, just being here. You are not trying to become someone, something, this or that — just being yourself. And to be yourself is to be divine.
To be yourself is to meditate. To be yourself is all that religion is about. This is what I'm teaching here.
I'm not teaching you a particular pattern of life. I'm not giving you a style of life. At the most, I'm trying to give you a vision, a clarity, an understanding. I'm not trying to give you a character: moral or immoral, good or bad. I'm not giving you a philosophy to live by, I'm simply giving you an insight into yourself. Then, no philosophy is needed, no pattern is needed. Then, you can just be yourself with no condemnation, with no evaluation. And that purity of being oneself, that beauty of being oneself transcends all that you can desire, transcends all that you can even conceive of, transcends all that you can eve imagine or dream about. Just a glimpse of it, and you will never be the same again.
So, this is not a question from somebody in particular. Krishna Radha has asked it, but it is not only her question; it is everybody's question. It is one of the most basic, essential questions of all human beings, of all those who are trapped in the mind. And there is only one way out of the trap: that you don't choose; neither this nor that — you simply don't choose. You withdraw from choice and you become choiceless. Choicelessness is freedom. To choose is to choose a prison; to choose is to choose a bondage. To choose is wrong, to be choiceless is to be right.
OSHO
from the book : Come Follow To You, Vol 4
Chapter #6