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OSHO, I ALWAYS THINK OF COMMITTING SUICIDE, AND WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD SAY ABOUT MY DEATH?
Why should you think of suicide? Are you a nut or something? If you have become a sannyasin you have already committed suicide. Sannyas is a suicide — the real one. It is not destroying the body, because destroying the body is not going to help; you will be immediately born again somewhere in some other womb. It will only be renewing the body; it is not real suicide.
Sannyas is real suicide, because it destroys the mind, it takes you beyond the mind. And if you are beyond the mind you will not be born again. Why be born again and again? Why go on in this vicious circle?I know you are bored with life. If you are really bored, then meditation is the way, not suicide — because suicide will bring you to the SAME life, maybe an uglier life than you have right now, because suicide will create its own ugliness in you. To commit suicide is such an ungrateful act towards God. He gives you life as an opportunity to grow, and you throw away the opportunity.
And unless you grow, unless you grow and become a Buddha, you will be thrown back into life again and again. Millions of times it has happened before: it is time now you should become aware. Don't miss this opportunity.Being here with me, learn the real art of suicide. The real art consists not in destroying the body…the body is beautiful, the body has not done any wrong. It is the ugly mind. The body is beautiful, the soul is beautiful, but between the body and the soul there is something which is neither body nor soul. This in-between phenomenon is the mind.
It is mind that goes on dragging you back into the womb. When you die, if you commit suicide you will be thinking of life. Committing suicide means you are thinking of life. You are bored, fed up with life; you would like a totally different kind of life, that's why you are committing suicide — not that you are really against life. THIS life you are against. Maybe you don't want to be the way you are: you would like to be an Alexander, a Napoleon, an Adolph Hitler; maybe you want to be the richest man in the world, and you are not. This life has failed, and you would like to be famous, successful — destroy it!People commit suicide not because they are really finished with life but because life is not fulfilling their demands. But no life ever fulfills anybody's demands. You will always go on missing something or other: if you have money, you may not be beautiful; if you are beautiful, you may not be intelligent; if you are intelligent, you may not have money.
Once a man stopped Andrew Carnegie, who had gone for a morning walk in the garden. Andrew Carnegie was the richest man in America; the man who stopped him was looking like the very incarnation of a beggar. And the man said, "Please don't be deceived by my appearance. I am an author, I have also written a book."Andrew Carnegie asked, "What kind of book have you written?" The man said, "I have written a book entitled ONE HUNDRED WAYS TO BECOME RICH."Andrew Carnegie could not stop himself laughing. He said, "ONE HUNDRED WAYS TO BECOME RICH? And you are a beggar! What kind of book is this?"The beggar started laughing, and he said, "This is the hundredth way of becoming rich — it is included in my book."
The beggar also thinks of becoming rich, writes books about how to become rich — even thinks that by begging he will become rich. But Andrew Carnegie is not happy either; he was one of the most unhappy men ever born on the earth. He lived in unhappiness, he died in unhappiness. The day he died somebody asked, "You must be dying fully contented — because you are leaving such a lot of money behind you. You are the richest man in the world."Andrew Carnegie opened his eyes and said, very sadly said, "I am not fulfilled in my desires. My target was far higher — I have not been able to reach it. I could accumulate only ten percent of my target."
But even if you achieve one hundred percent of your target, how is it going to help? One is going to remain unfulfilled. Each life you will find the same thing repeated; forms change, but the discontent remains.People think that those who commit suicide are against life — they are not. They are too lusty for life, they have great lust for life; and because life is not fulfilling their lust, in anger, in despair, they destroy themselves.
I will teach you the right way to commit suicide. Not the destruction of the body; the body is a beautiful gift from God. The mind is not a gift from God; the mind is a conditioning by the society. The soul is a gift, the body is a gift, and sandwiched between the two, the society has played tricks with you: it has created your mind. It gives you ambition, it gives you jealousy, competition, violence, it gives you all kinds of ugly diseases. But this mind can be transcended, this mind can be put aside. This mind is not a must.I am sitting before you and I say it through my own experience, I say it on my own authority: that mind can be put aside. It is so simple, you just have to know the knack of it.
And remember, whenever I say that I say it on my own authority I am not saying that I am saying it AUTHORITATIVELY. Those two expressions are totally different. When something is said AUTHORITATIVELY it is a commandment; you have to believe in it. If you don't believe in it you will suffer, here or hereafter. The priest speaks with authoritativeness, the politician speaks with authoritativeness.A realized man speaks not with authoritativeness but on his own authority — because he KNOWS it. I am not saying follow me, I am not saying believe in me. I am simply stating a fact: that I have KNOWN it this way, it has happened to me…it can happen to you.
Life is very precious and the greatest treasure is hidden in it — and that treasure is of becoming a witness.
The birds singing, and the trees, and the flowers…this infinite universe — is it the place to commit suicide? It is the place to dance, to sing, to celebrate, to love and to be loved.
And if you can love this existence, if you can feel blessed with this existence, I promise you that when you die you will not be coming back again…because you will have learnt the lesson. God never sends anybody back to the school if once they have learnt their lesson.
If you can learn to rejoice, you will be accepted. Doors of higher mysteries will be opened to you. You will be welcomed into the innermost mysteries of life. That's what I call the true art of committing suicide: my name for it is sannyas.?
OSHO