Real Tantra is not technique but love. Is not technique but prayer. Is not head-oriented but a relaxation into the heart. Please remember it. Many books have been written on Tantra, they all talk about technique. But the real Tantra has nothing to do with technique. The real Tantra cannot be written about, the real Tantra has to be imbibed. How to imbibe real Tantra? You will have to transform your whole approach.
Pray with your woman, sing with your woman, play with your woman, dance with your woman, with no idea of sex. Don't go on thinking 'When are we going to bed?' Forget about it. Do something else, and get lost into it. And some day love will arise out of that being lost. Suddenly you will see that you are making love and you are not making it. It i.s happening, you are possessed by it.
Then you have your first Tantra experience — possessed by something bigger than you. You were dancing or you were singing together or you were chanting together or you were praying together or meditating together, and suddenly you find you both have moved into a new space. And when you have started making love you don't know, you don't remember either. Then you are being possessed by Tantra energy. And then for the first time you will see a non-technical experience.
When you are making love don't control. Go into uncontrol, go into chaos. It will be fearful, frightening, because it will be a kind of death. And the mind will say 'Control!' And the mind will say 'Jump in and keep control, otherwise you will be lost in the abyss of it.' Don't listen to the mind, get lost. Abandon yourself utterly. And without any technique you will come to see a timeless experience. There will be no two in it: oneness. A consciousness will be there, a lucid passive consciousness will be there, you will know what is happening, because you will be fully aware.. But you will not be there. Awareness will be there.
You have to imbibe the Tantra spirit — it is not a technique to be learned.
OSHO