Remember this, that all our relationships, so-called relationships, are adjustments. If one changes, the adjustment is broken — for the better or for the worse, that is not the point. People come to me and they say: If meditation brings higher qualities, then why is the relationship broken? That is not the question. The relationship was an adjustment between two persons as they were. Now one has changed, the other has to grow with them; otherwise there will be trouble, things will become false.
Whenever a man is here, he becomes more meditative. The more meditative he is, the more he wants to be alone. The wife, the beloved, will be disturbed by it. If she is not understanding then she will start creating trouble — this man wants to be more alone. If she is understanding, then there is no problem; but that understanding can only come to her if her love grows. If she feels more loving, then she can allow this friend to be lonely, alone, and she will protect his loneliness. She will try to see that it is not disturbed — this will be her love now.
And if this man feels…if Buddha feels that Yashodhara is protecting, safeguarding, seeing, caring, that his meditation is not disturbed, that his silence is helped, then there is no need to escape from this Yashodhara. But this happens only if Yashodhara's love grows.
When a man's meditation is growing, a woman's love should grow. Only then can they keep pace, and a higher harmony will arise and it will go on, higher and higher. And a moment comes when the man is totally in meditation and the woman is totally in love — then only the PERFECT meeting, then only the real, supreme orgasm between two persons. Not physical, not sexual — total! Two existences meeting into each other, dissolving. Then the lover becomes the door, the beloved becomes the door, and they both reach to the one. So whosoever comes to me should come perfectly aware that it is dangerous to be near me. Your old arrangements will be disturbed — and I cannot help it.
I am not here to help your adjustments; that is for you to decide.
I can help you grow — grow in meditation, grow in love. To me, both words mean the same, because they reach to the same end.
OSHO