Only love can make you capable of going into a higher kind of love which is trust. Otherwise you will doubt, you will distrust. A sad person Cannot trust. So awareness one — that is negative awareness — cannot trust, it can only doubt. Awareness two can trust, it cannot doubt. And because it can trust, awareness becomes possible. To relate to me you will need to create the second; that is missing, so between me and you there is a gap.
You have to understand it and you have to take the responsibility… unless you choose to be miserable; then there is no problem. Don't make any fuss about it; that is your work, that is your painting. Some people paint just sad paintings; that is their work. Some people simply compose sad and dull music… such music that it reminds you of death, not of life. Some people always sing sad songs, but that's their choice. Then don't be worried about it — it is perfectly okay. Then become the most miserable person here. Never be second — why should you be? At least people will say '[She] is the first! Nobody can compete with her.'
Or if you want to get out of it, take the responsibility this is your choice. Start moving with people, start becoming a little cheerful, start playing games of love again. These are games but it is better to play them than to be negative. If one has to dream, why not dream beautiful dreams? Why get hooked with nightmares?
And then you start thinking a thousand and one things — that trust is not arising and meditation is not happening and this is not happening and that is not happening. Only one thing is not happening and that is: you are not gathering enough courage to create a new relationship in your life.
And I am not saying that a relationship will not bring misery, but at least that misery will have some moments of happiness in it.
OSHO