If you cannot see the wordless reality you will be frustrated in all your paths in life, everywhere you will be frustrated because you will take the word for reality.
Many people come to me and say, "This girl loved me, she said it herself." "This man loved me and now the love has disappeared." They were both deceived by words.
Dale Carnegie suggests that even if you have been married for twenty years, don't forget to keep using the same words you used when you were courting your wife — continue. Every morning say the same as you did when you were courting.
Don't drop those words. Every day say, "Nobody exists like you. You are the most beautiful person in the world, and I will die without you." Dale Carnegie says that even if you don't feel it, go on saying it, because words are realities. And the wife will be deceived and the husband will be deceived, because we live by words alone.
You don't know anything else, you don't know anything real. How can you be in contact with reality? When someone says, "I love you" — finished! When someone says, "I hate you" — finished! Put aside the words and look at the person.
When someone says, "I love you," don't get entangled with the words, put them aside. Look at the person, at his or her totality. Then nobody can deceive you. Love is such a fire you will be able to see it, you will be able to touch it, you will be able to know whether it is there or not.
Love cannot be hidden. If it is there, really, words are not needed. When somebody really loves you, he will not say, "I love you." It is not needed. Love is enough unto itself — it needs no salesmanship. It doesn't need anybody to persuade, to convince; it is enough, it is a fire. Nothing is more fiery than love, it is a flame. And when there is a flame in the dark you need not say anything about it. It is there. No advertisement is needed, no propaganda is needed.
Try to separate words from reality. In your day-to-day life when someone says, "I hate you," don't believe the word. This may be just a momentary thing, it may be just a phase. Don't go for the word, otherwise you will make an enemy for life. As you have made friends because of words so you have made enemies because of words.
Don't go for the words, look into the person, look into the eyes, feel the whole — it may be just a momentary reaction. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred it will be just a momentary thing. He feels hurt by something, he reacts and says, "I hate you." Wait, don't decide, don't say, "This is an enemy.
" If you say that, you are not only deceived by others' words, you are also deceived by your own. If you say, "This is an enemy," now this word will cling. And even if he changes tomorrow, you will not be so ready or so willing to change, you will carry it within you. And then through your insistence you will create an enemy. Your enemies are false, your friends are false, because words are not reality.
OSHO