Q: OFTEN JOYOUSLY I HEAR YOU SAYING CONTRADICTORY THINGS, AND EMPHASIZING THAT EVERYTHING JUST HAS ITS POLAR OPPOSITE TO BE COMPLETE.
BUT THE OTHER MORNING I GOT INTO TROUBLE WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT OFFERING YOUR FRIENDSHIP TO YOUR SANNYASINS.
I UNDERSTOOD THAT SOME OF THEM HAVE TAKEN THIS LONG-WANTED OPPORTUNITY FOR THEIR SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT, AND HAVEN’T BEEN AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THEY WERE BASICALLY RESENTFUL AND ANGRY TOWARDS YOU AT BEING MERE DISCIPLES..
MY UNDERSTANDING WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT, WHEN YOU WERE TELLING US IN KULU AND KATHMANDU THAT AS FAR AS YOU WERE CONCERNED, YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY DISCIPLES ANYMORE, AND NOW IT WAS UP TO US TO DROP DISCIPLESHIP.
TO ME YOUR OFFER OF FRIENDSHIP WAS JUST OVERWHELMING, AND I FELT MORE REVERENCE AND LOVE TOWARDS YOU THAN EVER BEFORE, AND VERY VERY GRATEFUL. I FELT A VERY DELICATE, SENSITIVE AND PRECIOUS KIND OF INTIMACY STARTING TO GROW BETWEEN ME AND YOU, AS MY MASTER.
NOW YOU SAY THAT ALL THIS WAS JUST A DEVICE TO GET RID OF EGOISTS, AND THAT THEY ENJOYED THIS OFFER OF YOURS. I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYMORE. DID I GET IT ALL WRONG? WHERE AM I HOOKED?
The question is from Premda.
His situation is different from those who were waiting for such an opportunity for their own ego-fulfillment. He is new. He has not known the phase of discipleship at all, so when friendship was offered it was not a nourishment to his ego; it went directly to his heart because he has no resentment, no anger at being a disciple.
This became a joyous intimacy and a loving growth for him. Now he is feeling more reverence, more love, more respect. This will bring in him the wonderful experience of discipleship. So the situation is so different that there is no question of contradiction.
The people who have been with me for ten years, twelve years, and were hankering deep down to become masters themselves were certainly feeling resentful towards me. And when I offered friendship, it was not a gratitude or reverence that grew in their heart but a deep and long-awaiting ego was fulfilled.
Now they could declare that they have the same status as I have, that their experience is the same as my experience. So my declaration of friendship was to them the end of their discipleship — and not the beginning of friendship either; it was simply the end of the road.
But to Premda the situation is different. He has not been around me for many years, and he has not for a single moment thought of being a master. His whole desire has been to be closer to me, to be intimate with me. So when I declared that I am your friend, this desire was fulfilled, and it has created a loving intimacy and reverence. And you can see it from the question. I call myself your friend, but he says he started feeling a reverence towards the master.
To those who have been calling me “Master,” the declaration of friendship ended their discipleship, and to one who was simply longing for intimacy the same declaration made him a disciple. And the people who were longing to be masters were not many; they belonged only in the category of therapists — just a few therapists, not all.
And those therapists got this longing because I was sending people to their therapies and they started thinking that they are some kind of masters, and they are helping people to grow.
The reality was, I was sending these people to their therapies because these people were so full of rubbish that they needed some dry cleaning, and those therapists were nothing but dry cleaners. But thousands of people passing through their therapies… it is very human and very natural to get the idea that, “We can be masters on our own.” They were just waiting for the opportunity.
It is not true about all sannyasins; it is only true about a special small group of therapists. Their work destroyed them. They may have helped many people come closer to me, but they themselves went on going farther and farther away.
Premda has no desire to be a master, and nobody who has a desire to be a master can ever be a master. Only those who are desireless happen to be masters. It is not something like a goal that you can achieve: it is something that happens by the way, unintentionally, without being sought for. You are doing something else, you are feeling more love, more intimacy, more reverence, and slowly, slowly, in this reverence and love and intimacy, your ego is disappearing. One day, when the ego is not there, you have become a master.
You were not seeking it — it is just a by-product. And those poor therapists missed — although they were with me for years — because they remained achievers, climbers. In their mind they were always thinking how to become a master.
It is good, Premda, that my offering of friendship created discipleship in you. That’s how it should have been to everyone who is sincerely here for the search of truth, for the search of oneself.
You are blessed.
OSHO
