You say that, "Sadness in me keeps on coming for a short while and leaving.
I give a long rope to the man."
Now, the very idea is wrong. Is your man a dog that you give him a long rope?
You cannot give freedom — freedom is everybody's birthright. The very idea, "I'm giving a long rope"… still the rope is in your hand. You are the giver of freedom. You cannot give freedom; you can only accept the freedom of the other person. You cannot keep one end of the rope in your hand, watching the dog pissing on this tree, pissing on that tree…. You think that is freedom? No, the very idea is wrong.
The other person has his freedom; you have your freedom. Neither he needs to have one end of the rope in his hand, nor do you have to have it; otherwise, both are chained. His rope is going to be your chains, your rope is going to be his chains. And you think you give enough rope — you think you are being very generous.
Freedom is not something that has to be given to another person. Freedom is something that has to be recognized as the property of the other person.
And the freedom of the person you love will not hurt you. It hurts because you don't use your own freedom. It is not his freedom that hurts; what hurts is that you have been incapacitated by centuries of wrong conditioning — you cannot use your own freedom. Man has taken your whole freedom. That is the real problem. Your freedom has to be returned to you, and it will not hurt; in fact you will enjoy it.
Freedom is such a joyful experience. Your lover is enjoying freedom, you are enjoying freedom. In freedom, you meet; in freedom, you depart. And perhaps life may bring you together again. And most probably…. All the researches about love relationships indicate a certain phenomenon which has not been accepted by any society up to now. And even today, when I say these things, I'm condemned all over the world. When your man becomes interested in another woman, it does not mean that he no longer loves you; it simply means just a change of taste.
Once in a while, you like to go to Sarjano's pizza place. That does not mean that you have renounced your old food, but once in a while, it is perfectly good. In fact, after visiting Sarjano's place, you go to the canteen more joyously. It takes a few days for you to forget the experience — then again, one day, the spaghetti. These affairs don't mean much. One cannot live on spaghetti alone.
The psychologists are agreed on one point: couples who love each other should have a few love affairs once in a while. Those love affairs will renew their relationship, will refresh it. You will start seeing beauty again in your wife. You may start fantasies, dreams of having your wife again — that you misunderstood her before; this time you are not going to misunderstand. And the same is true about your husband.
In my idea of a commune, people will be absolutely free to say to their partner: "I would like two days holiday. And you are also free; you need not sit in the house and boil." If you want to meditate, that is another thing; otherwise you have been interested in the neighbor's wife too long…. The green grass on the other side of the fence — you wanted to chew it for so long; now your wife is giving you a chance!
You should say, "You are great! Just go for a holiday, and enjoy it. And I'm going to the neighbor's house — the grass is greener there." But in two days, you will find that the grass is grass, and your own lawn was far better.
But an authentic experience is needed, and when after two days, you meet again, it will be the beginning of a new honeymoon. Why not have honeymoons every month? Why be satisfied with one honeymoon in one life? That is strange, and absolutely unnatural.
And love is not something bad or evil so that you have to prevent your wife loving somebody else. It is just fun; there is not much to be bothered about. If she wants to play tennis with somebody, let her play! I don't think that making love has more significance than playing tennis. In fact, tennis is far cleaner.
OSHO